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Dude! I, like, totally blew it. Back when I lived in Israel, all my bros were totally into weed and stuff, and we were always mad scared of the police busting us. There’s an easy solution! All you have to do if you want to smoke weed every day (smoke weed every day!) is move to a settlement.

Dig this: Two months ago, two righteous dudes were busted (sorry, man, Hebrew only) for ordering weed online and having it delivered to their homes. Literally, the cops were like, “You’re so busted!” But the dudes were, you know, “No way! We live in settlements, Ofra and Tekoa, and settlements are totally not legally a part of Israel, and the law says it’s only illegal to traffic drags in Israel itself, and we, like, don’t really live in Israel, so we’re innocent.” Or whatever! And the judge bought it! Brahs are totally free!

So, there you have it: The settlements are awesome. Because you can order drugs straight to your door. And because they’re, like, totally not legally a part of Israel and should therefore receive none of its privileges, protections, and tax shekels. Right on, dudes!





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