An Iranian ninja plans her next move(REUTERS/Caren Firouz)

The new leader of Kadima, Shaul Mofaz, has wasted no time accusing Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of using the threat of an Iranian nuclear bomb to distract from domestic issues. Senator Rand Paul is blocking stronger sanctions on Iran. Meanwhile, Israel has a new strategically important airfield in Azerbaijan, but Haaretz’ Amir Oren believes Netanyahu is resigned to waiting until after November to strike.

Yet they continue ignoring the true Iranian threat: ninjas. The New York Times reports that Iran has suspended the press credentials of Reuter’s Iran staff over a February video report on “Iranian women trained in the ancient Japanese martial art of Ninjutsu.” The at-fault headline, which apparently does not match the actually story, is “Thousands of Female Ninjas Train as Iran’s Assassins.” The video report has been taken down in the cover-up, but you can still see pictures.

The lady ninjas, who by nature work from the shadows, insist that Ninjutsu is “about working out and staying fit,” and not, in fact, assassination. I wish we could take their word, but while we have as yet no evidence that Iran’s ninja program has been weaponized, the United Nations needs to insist that Iran allow neutral ninja inspectors entry to ensure that it is only being used for clean ninja energy. We also need to face facts that our “ally” Japan has been sharing advanced ninja tech with Iran. Sanctions may be necessary.

The danger, of course, is a ninja arms race in the Middle East, one that will lead Israel to (as Jews of yore did) begin a counter-ninja program. That’s right: pirates. I fear it is a battle that will engulf us all.

Iran Suspends Reuters Over Faulty Headline [NYT]
Ninjas in Iran [Reuters]
U.S. Navy Rescues Iranian From Pirates [ABC]
Great Geek Debates: Pirates vs. Ninja [Wired]
Shaul Mofaz, New Head of Israel’s Largest Party
Paul the Younger Blocks Iran Sanctions
How Azerbaijan Can Help Israel Attack Iran