A cute black kitten!(gittingsc/Flickr)

Breaking news from your humble parenting columnist: My children need help naming their new kitten. Said kitten is tiny and black with a very long tail. The Harry-Potter-obsessed children in question want to name it Bellatrix Lestrange, which has been rejected for being both goyish and evil.

Other name contenders currently include Vanessa Doofenschmirtz (a character on the cartoon Phineas and Ferb—such a cat’s nickname could be Essie, which is nice for a Lower East Side/East Village cat) and Weezy (which meets the Harry Potter criterion—it’s what Dobby calls Ron Weasley—and is appropriate given that, being Jews, we have a houseful of asthma sufferers). But additional ideas for monikers would be very welcome.

Additional data point: The name or nickname should work with Yoyo, the name of the Ingall crew’s other cat. (Yoyo is short for Miss Sparkles Yoyodyne. You see the risk of allowing children to name a pet.) Please post suggestions in the comments, lest I wind up with a cat named Bellatrix. No one deserves that.