I wish Drake had 18 tattoos because, ya know. Alas, he has (by The Ringer’s count) 25 of them, one of which is a bottle of Drakkar Noir cologne, a fantastic homage to an affordable all-world scent. He has no Hebrew ink and nothing quite Jewish to note, but he does have a tattoo of his momma (and his beloved bubbe) on his back, which may just be the modern equivalent of “call your mother.” His next tattoo? From Drake’s mouth to your ears (eyes): Celine Dion’s face.
That’s right, it appears that the Canadian musicians had never met before Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas. And now that they have we know two things: 1) Drake bows to Celine the Queen of Canada and 2) Drake wants to get a tattoo of Celine Dion, however off-the-cuff the comment may have seemed.
WE’RE GOING TO HOLD YOU TO IT DRAKE. YOU HAVE 363 DAYS TO GET A TATTOO OF CELINE DION.
From the looks of it, Drizzy was starstruck by Celine Dion. His awe was likely heightened by the fact that Dion was wearing a dress made by a designer who was inspired by a marshmallow, which is allowed because she’s Celine Dion and her anthem, “My Heart Will Go On,” is now 20 years old. This means that Drake was 10 years old when Dion’s hit helped billions of the world’s citizens cope with Jack Dawson’s icy death, including, clearly, Drake.
So go on Drake. Go and get your Celine Dion tattoo. We support you and we are waiting.
Jonathan Zalman is a writer and teacher based in Brooklyn.