If, by now, you don’t know that Obama chief-of-staff Rahm Emanuel has an older and a younger brother, and that they’re all brilliant and kind of insane, and that the youngest, Ari, is the basis for Jeremy Piven’s character in Entourage, then you are probably not reading this post, because there are no computers under any of the rocks where you may reside. For the rest of us, it is time to meet Emanuel: The Next Generation—the children who over the coming decades will inspire and teriffy us with their genius, force of personality, and robust cursing.
The Daily Beast wants to frame the family as the Jewish Kennedys, with Rahm’s father Benjamin, who fought with the Jewish Irgun militia in pre-Israel Palestine, as the Joseph Kennedy-esque paterfamilias. The Jewish Kennedys would be over-achieving where the actual Kennedys were volatile; their most prominent member would possess behind-the-scenes rather than overt power. And certainly the Emanuels’ tendency to blow off steam by shouting at each other and inventing ever more clever uses of the f-word is a better, if not inherently more Jewish, option than the Kennedys’ less-healthy and-respectful methods of avoiding boredom.
Of the nine Emanuel grandchildren, the two older daughters of Ezekiel, a senior at Dartmouth and a burgeoning human-rights activist, are over 18. Two other cousins, meanwhile, are soon turning 13, and will celebrate their bar mitzvahs in Israel.
Marc Tracy is a staff writer at The New Republic, and was previously a staff writer at Tablet. He tweets @marcatracy.